Painting After Death

Eli Bucksbaum

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After Jack’s passing, I had very little motivation to paint. The motions of painting reminded me of Jack and made something I loved hard to enjoy. The following month I decided to do what Jack always did and go to Michael’s and get the biggest canvas the eye could find. I felt like it would have been what Jack wanted.

I approached the canvas as if I were creating what would become Jack’s headstone. It was my way of coming to terms with the fact that I would never see my best friend again. A little over 1/3 of the canvas is a rough layer of black paint with sharp edges and grooves. The darkness encompasses the anxieties, misfortunes, and pain I have felt in my life. While it is a part of me and has built me into the man I am today, it does not define me. It is easy to find solace in the darkness, but it is the onus of oneself to remember that there is more to life than the struggle. Jack lived a beautiful, precious life—one that will never be forgotten.


36x48 Inches
Acrylic on Canvas
August 3, 2020